


"Space Lice"

by platinumfail



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Amanda pushing Spock to talk to that 'nice Kirk girl', F/M, Fem! Kirk, Fluff, Jealous Spock, Journey to Babel, Mind Meld giving me feelings, Rule 63, Sassy Bones, Star Trek - Freeform, Star Trek TOS, T'hy'la, T'hy'la probs, Vulcan Family Drama, You know you gonna love this y'all, one gasp of 'hobgoblin', spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 04:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11455995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platinumfail/pseuds/platinumfail
Summary: "She felt such a...closeness with her first officer, and she didn't see it as a usual closeness. (Of course, she told herself that it was friendly closeness and that was it so she could actually shut her eyes at night but that wasn’t the issue.) Whenever they were alone together, she would feel this…unexplainable tickling in the back of her mind. It wasn’t unpleasant – and it definitely wasn’t space lice"A fem!Kirk x Spock fic based off the TOS episode, "Journey to Babel" where Spock, with a little bit of nudging from Amanda and Sarek admits to Kirk that she is his beloved.





	"Space Lice"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I want to apologize for how long it took for me to get this fic up! I have been so busy lately, but I'm so happy that it's done and I can share it with you guys! As always, I took creative liberties with the t'hy'la concept, so be sure to keep that in mind! I usually try to stick to the canon ideas of t'hy'la as much as possible. 
> 
> This was a request sent to my tumblr, girlkirk.tumblr.com! The request asked for a somewhat jealous Spock and some interaction with Sarek and Amanda. 
> 
> Remember, if you have any requests, feel free to send them my way! <3
> 
> ENJOY LOVES!

            If there was anyone who could handle a starship with 400 crewmembers along with 114 Federation delegations that were ready to slit each other’s throats, it was Jim Kirk...and Starfleet knew it. So that was why Jim was wearing her itchy dress uniform, the lime green color annoying her immensely. It was a nice dress, but it had the stiffest and highest collar imaginable, and she had to pin some annoying pins on the right side of her chest. She really hoped that Starfleet would start to rethink their dress uniforms, but she doubted anything would come of it.

            “Ugh, I feel like I’m choking…” Bones groaned loudly in Jim’s quarters, trying to keep his starchy collar on his dress uniform from basically suffocating him.

            “You’re lucky, Bones – all you and Spock have to do is wear a starchy shirt. I have to wear a starchy dress! Think about me! How can I even run around in this thing?” Jim hissed, groaning when she was unable to move her head fully behind her to see what Bones was trying to do with his collar.

            “Picking up all these delegates and then a full formal reception tonight? I don’t know how I’m going to make it...but at least I don’t whine as much as you do.” Bones shrugged, sending Jim a look.

            “Is that a challenge?” Jim scoffed, putting her hands on her hips, ignoring the itchiness of the dress.

            “I would make it a challenge, but I know how pissy you get when you lose.” Bones laughed, causing Jim to smack his arm.

            “Come on, Bones. The last delegation we’re picking up is the Vulcan one. As soon as we get them on board, we can finally relax.” Jim sighed; making sure her hair was all neat before leaving her quarters with her CMO.

            Jim felt a nice tickling warmth in the back of her mind when Spock quickly joined them, and she bit her bottom lip.

            She would be the first to admit that Spock was extremely close to her heart. She would truly lay her life on the line for him, and she was sure that he would do the same. He has nearly done the same on several occasions. She just knew they were always lucky to scrape by without either one of them sacrificing themselves. She felt such a...closeness with her first officer, and she didn't see it as a _usual_ closeness. (Of course, she told herself that it _was_ friendly closeness and that was it so she could actually shut her eyes at night but that wasn’t the issue.) Whenever they were alone together, she would feel this…unexplainable tickling in the back of her mind.

            It wasn’t unpleasant – and it definitely wasn’t space lice. Trust, she about drove Bones insane before the doctor nearly smacked her and said, _“If I said you don’t have Space Lice, then you don’t have Space Lice, dammit! Besides, if you had Space Lice, you’d feel it all the time! Now, leave the med bay…you’re getting your… breathing all over my everything.”_ She loved that doctor, but man oh man did she want to smack him a time or two.

            This tickling, however, was always warm and pleasant…like one of those weird head massagers that Sulu raves about all the time. It was something that made her heart race faster, and her eyes would just flutter when she would see her first officer. This would of course raise questions to anybody, but Jim was sure to brush them off. If she was still able to man her ship in the best way possible and stay on top of things, there was little for her to investigate or complain about.

            She was taken out of her stupor when she heard Bones continue to talk about the delegations on board the ship as they turned a corner to the shuttlecraft bay.

            “32 Ambassadors that are part of the 114, and all of them want to rip each other’s throats out…all ready to fly off the handle over this Coridan situation.”

            Jim smirked and shrugged as they waited patiently outside of the shuttlecraft hangar doors, waiting for the shuttlecraft to land safely before greeting the Vulcan delegation. As soon as the doors opened, Jim quickly followed out the honor guard and stood to the side next to the door that would lead them off of the hangar deck and onto the deck of the Enterprise. She saw Spock and Bones stand next to each other just outside the doorframe, and she pushed her shoulders back. She took a deep breath and watched the Vulcan delegation approach her. Jim saw Ambassador Sarek walk gracefully towards her, a woman following behind. Jim wondered who the woman was, but kept her attention on Sarek when he stopped in front of her.

            “I’m Captain James Kirk,” She introduced herself, bowing her head just the tiniest bit. She almost cussed at herself – she should’ve asked Spock what that damn Vulcan salute was.

            “Captain.” Sarek responded, his face not showing the slightest smile, his eyes only showing acknowledgement as he held up the Vulcan salute. Jim bit her cheek. So _that’s_ what it was.  

            Jim bowed once again and led Sarek behind her to walk out of the hangar and into the hangar hallway, where Spock and Bones were waiting. Jim smiled a bit upon seeing Spock, but she could tell that he looked a bit like he was on guard. Jim felt the warmth in the back of her head cool a little bit, and fray. She tilted her head. What was that sensation for?

            “This is my First Officer, Commander Spock, and my Chief Medical Officer, Dr. McCoy.” Jim introduced her two best friends and stood back.

            “Vulcan honors us with your presence, we come to serve.” Spock cleared his throat, standing up straighter.

            Jim raised a blonde eyebrow. He certainly didn’t act this uptight when the other delegates with their ambassadors arrived. Jim chalked it up to just being near someone from his home, and that must have been the way Vulcans always greeted each other when meeting across the universe.

            Jim watched as Sarek obviously surveyed him with his calculating eyes, and he quickly turned from him, not acknowledging her First Officer, his hands held behind his back in a sophisticated manner.

            “Your service honors us, _Captain_.” Sarek responded, staring at the blonde female who was quite bewildered at the icy reception. It was as if Spock didn’t exist to this man.

            “Thank you.” Jim nodded shortly, her voice somewhat soft. When was someone going to tell her about the complexities of Vulcan meet and greets? She at least thought that Spock would take control of this delegation since they were from his home planet, and if anyone was well versed in their culture, it was him.

            “Ambassador,” Dr. McCoy nodded, and Sarek turned to him, similar to how he turned towards Jim.

            “Doctor.” He nodded, acknowledging him.

            Jim tried to shake her head of the weirdness of Sarek not even acknowledging her first officer – who was to be treated with just as much honor as a captain aboard a starship. She licked her lips and led Sarek, who was followed by Spock and Bones, deeper into the Enterprise, away from the door to the shuttlecraft hangar.

            Once there was more room for the whole delegation to surround Sarek, Spock and Bones came to Jim’s side.

            “My aides,” Sarek introduced, “and she who is my wife.” Sarek completed, allowing the woman that Jim observed to come stand next to him, the two of them touching their middle and pointer fingers together. Jim tilted her head in curiosity.

            Spock observed his captain, noting every single clench of her hands, every single breath she took. He could tell that his captain was quite bewildered, most likely over how he was snubbed by the Vulcan ambassador. He did not want to explain, and he hoped that Jim would not demand an explanation from the Ambassador. He knew that Jim was bold and ready to take a stand for someone to get the respect they deserve, but he was relieved when he noticed that she had stepped down from that position for the moment.

            He couldn’t help but notice the way her hazel eyes would shine with curiosity, always ready to learn more and store it in her brain so she could potentially apply it in the future. The way her pink lips would part when she was anticipating something, and how her cheeks would have the slightest pink twinge from her red blood pooling at the surface. He could feel her breathing, he could feel her buzzing around inside in the back of his head, the parts of her mind begging to be connected with his.

            He tried to keep himself under control, but it was very difficult for him to acknowledge all angles of the situation, as he normally could. Jim’s thoughts were fluttering around in the back of his mind, and he was happy that he had not done a full mind meld with her because he would be able to hear every single thought she was loudly processing. He wondered if her thoughts were always that loud in her head. He raised an eyebrow, turning his eyes away from his captain when he saw that Sarek’s wife had smiled softly upon noticing his gaze upon his blonde captain.

            “Captain Kirk,” the woman greeted, bowing her head just the slightest.

            Jim’s face perked up when the woman had pulled off the thin veil that covered the top of her head and saw her rounded ears, the warm smile on her face. She was human! Jim had a weird feeling in her chest though…Vulcans didn’t usually marry humans, and Spock said it was extremely rare. She was surprised that another human/Vulcan couple was around when she thought it was only Spock’s parents that had that genetic makeup.

            “It’s our pleasure to have you, madam,” Jim quickly responded, smiling just as brightly at the woman. It was so nice to see a nice and soft face, the way the woman’s gray hair was put up in the nicest of updos. Jim had a feeling she would get close to this woman.

            It would be nice to talk to a woman who had to deal with a Vulcan every single day, just as she had to. Then again, Spock was half human, so she was excited to potentially hear the tales of being around a full Vulcan every single day.

            “As soon as you two are settled, I will arrange a tour of the ship for you,” Jim bit her bottom lip, ready to push the envelope. Spock was going to get some damned respect. He never came across many Vulcans in their travels, and she was sure that he had missed home. She felt the tingle in the back of her head intensify almost frantically, as if it was trying to stop her. She ignored it, “Mr. Spock will give you two the tour.”

            “I would prefer a different guide, Captain.” Sarek quickly retorted, causing Jim’s hazel eyes to widen just the slightest.

            Well… _damn_. Did Spock do something to Sarek in the past or what? She raised a blonde eyebrow in bewilderment, and quickly looked to see Spock’s face. His face was as stoic as ever, and she nearly groaned out loud. Would it kill them to just show the slightest twinge of emotion on their damn faces? She saw Bones slightly shrug, and she could tell that he was also bewildered. Jim cleared her throat awkwardly, as Sarek was waiting for her response to his request.

            “A-as you wish, Ambassador.” Jim painted a smile, nodding before licking her lips and allowing it to fade.

            Jim observed Spock closely, just wanting to yank him aside and comfort him. She, of course, knew he didn’t want to be comforted, and he didn’t exactly look like he needed it, but she could tell in his brown eyes that looked away he was a bit astonished, rejected. Jim bit her bottom lip, and tried her best to cheer up her first officer. Seeing him somewhat upset made her upset, and the damn tingling in the back of her mind was beginning to become cold. She wondered if she needed Bones to open up her damn head and see what was going on back there.

            “Mr. Spock,” Jim smiled softly, not noticing how Sarek’s wife quickly focused completely on their exchange, “we’ll leave orbit out of Vulcan in about two hours…that should give you plenty of time to go visit with your parents.” Jim finished her sentence with a soft smile, trying to ignore the annoying stiff feeling her fancy uniform dress was giving her.

            She saw Spock awkwardly shift, and he swallowed softly. Jim tilted her head. She knew she didn’t commit a faux pas there! She knew that Spock’s parents were both still alive, so it wasn’t like she was asking him to go visit dead people. What was happening? She saw Sarek’s wife look over to Spock expectantly as Sarek stared straight ahead, void of any telltale signs of emotion.

            “Captain…” Spock began, looking away before looking her right in the eyes, “Ambassador Sarek and his wife… _are_ my parents.”

            Jim was about to let out a loud ‘WHAT?!’ and she was happy that Bones quickly pinched her side extremely hard to help her avoid doing that. She was sure that her face was conveying 50,000 emotions, which Sarek would no matter find disgraceful, and she tried to focus on the stinging sensation in her side from Bones’ pinch.

            Spock watched his captain go through several stages of shock and bewilderment, and he nearly shoved Bones away when he saw that the good doctor had shoved his fingers into Jim’s side and pinched her skin harshly. He saw his mother staring at him still, and he knew he had to not look at all interested in what was occurring. From the way his mother was staring at his captain in a loving admiration, he knew that he was in deep trouble. He was sure that his mother was able to tell that Jim was his t’hy’la.

            Jim was the person that he was to spend the rest of his life with connected mentally, physically and spiritually. He wanted to sincerely just rocket off of the Enterprise due to the issues that complicated this whole damn process. He loved his captain, and he had wished he had informed her about his love more and more as he saw his mother send him a knowing glance, and his father refuse to look at him. He knew his father most likely did not know that Jim was his son’s t’hy’la, so it wasn't that development that displeased him. Spock wondered how this could have potentially been easier for the captain if he had told her that she was his soulmate, but he had to bite down that potential logical conclusion for a later time.

            He watched his captain lead his parents to their quarters, and he quickly made his way down to engineering to hopefully avoid having to spend more time around his parents than was needed.

\--

            “Mrs. Sarek-“

            “Oh, please call me Amanda.” Spock’s mother requested, smiling softly, her eyes crinkling at the sides as she happily spoke to the captain.

            Jim had just watched the awkward display between Spock and his father, and Sarek was now back in his headquarters, Amanda staying behind to see more of the starship.

            “Amanda…I’m just a bit…confused?”

            “Oh, you do not understand the Vulcan way, captain,” Amanda began, shaking her head, knowing exactly what the blonde captain was about to bring up about her son and his father. “It’s logical, it’s a better way than ours, but…it isn’t easy. It has…” Amanda paused a bit, looking at the floor before looking back at the captain, “It has kept Spock and Sarek talking as a father and son for 18 years.”

            “Spock is my…” Jim bit her bottom lip as she tried to frame it so it didn’t sound as if she held bounds of affection for Amanda’s son, clearing her throat, “Spock is my best officer, if not the best first officer in the entire fleet. What was it that caused this…split between Spock and his father? I know it may not be my place to ask, but…”

            “Well, they stopped speaking after Spock had decided to go into Starfleet. Sarek had hoped, even trained Spock to follow in his footsteps, and, in effect, his grandfather’s footsteps and join the Vulcan Science Academy. It has not been easy on Spock…” Amanda trailed.

            Jim tilted her head and felt her chest nearly collapse. She knew that Spock was half human and half Vulcan, but she never really took the time to stop and consider what he had gone through and what he was still going through due to his mixed heritage.

            “Spock is neither human nor Vulcan. He never really felt at home until he was at Starfleet…but…from observing my son for those brief moments today, I could tell that he felt most at home by your side.”

            Jim felt her cheeks flush, and she nearly blanched. She shook her head shyly and cleared her throat, knowing that the wise woman could see right through her.

            “I don’t take that compliment lightly, Amanda…I had a feeling that it hadn’t been easy on Spock…but I assure you that he is a very welcomed and a critical member of our crew.” Jim smiled as Amanda nodded.

            “Indeed, Captain. I’m sure that you and my son will develop an even deeper relationship as time passes.”

            Jim would be lying if she said she didn’t get butterflies when Amanda said that, but she was sure that Spock’s mother only meant that in terms of friendship. It’s not like she was trying to wed her son off to some Starfleet captain who adored her son (but tried to hide it.)

            --

            After the Vulcan delegation got settled in, the ambassadors and their peers met in one of the large conference and event rooms on the ship, and Jim was not the least bit excited to go into the formal reception.

            “I usually love to socialize, but man…this uniform makes it hard. Also, I already had to break up four ‘minor’ disagreements between five different Alien races.” Jim groaned, rubbing her forehead.

            “You’re telling me, kid…” Bones complained, picking at the stiff collar. “Of course, Mister Stickler over here probably enjoys his uniform…”

            “I do not see how one would perceive enjoyment out of fabric, but I will say that this uniform is not of the best fit for a starship crew. However, since I have the ability of controlling my frustration, I merely do not complain as much as you do.”

            “Hobgoblin!” Bones spluttered, causing Jim to roll her eyes.

            “Come on you two, don’t make me have to break up five disagreements. My head’s already going to explode…”

            The trio walked into the meeting room, Spock and Bones flanking their captain’s side loyally. Jim bit her bottom lip as she quickly surveyed the room. Everything seemed peaceful for right now – of course, there were tons of side-eying and underhanded comments, but what would a meeting of Federation Ambassadors be without some sideswiping?

            Bones had the right idea when he picked up a glass of alcohol, and Spock dutifully handed his captain a glass of wine. Jim smiled softly, thanking her First Officer. Spock was sure to note from the beginning that a red Earth wine was Jim’s drink of choice when having to drink socially.

            Jim felt the sensation of the “space lice” fill her head again, and she bit her bottom lip. She could feel warmth in the back of her mind, wanting to embrace her, hold her, and make her feel weightless. She quickly shook her head. She had to get down to the bottom of that sensation. Of course it was something that brought her great happiness, but she was uneasy about it. Where did it even come from? She knew that it was a safe force, however. She had no bad gut feeling against it. All she wanted to do was dive fully in, but there seemed to be a block – like an invisible shield that caught her each time she tried to fall deeper in.

            Spock left Jim’s side and after he had nearly crossed the room, she felt the sensation intensify before it slowly began to become less and less urgent. She furrowed her brow. She would have to look into that soon. Jim watched Amanda walk over to her son and observe him as he spoke to the Andorian ambassador.

            Jim saw Bones quickly strike up conversation with an old Academy friend as Jim was left to stand with Spock’s “game plan” etched into her mind. Of course, before entering the room, Spock was sure to brief her on the most logical way to ‘socialize’ with the Ambassadors so that all of them felt like they got equal time to speak with the captain. Spock had estimated that she would have to spend approximately 2.5 minutes with each ambassador in order to make it out of the meeting room in about 1.5 hours, giving her enough time to make it to the bridge to make sure they would orbit Babel efficiently and begin arranging the delegations for beaming down to the planet.

            She saw Spock turn to face her while talking to the Andorian, obviously sending her a look of ‘you should talk to each ambassador for approximately 2.5 minutes…be sure to maintain eye contact with the Andorian race…’ Her eyes widened and she saw Spock’s eyes widen just a bit as well. Did she…did they just…weakly telepathically communicate? She was about to shake her head of the sensation when she heard a voice behind her.

            “Jim!”

            That voice…was super familiar. The way it was deep yet lilting, gentle yet full of potential force. Jim tilted her head before turning around, her hazel eyes meeting the deep green of the man that had come up to her.

            “Oh my…!” Jim exclaimed, setting down her wine glass, nearly doubling over.

            “Jim! It’s me, John, how have you been?”

            “You know you don’t have to tell me who you are. I’d recognize your voice anywhere…” Jim smirked, shaking her head. “I’ve been doing fairly well…how about you?”

            Spock felt his chest clench, and he stared at the interaction between the human male and his captain. The male was tall and slim, his dark blonde hair coifed in a very neat way. He was obviously an ambassador from the Federation sent to monitor the progress on the ship during the travel to Babel. Spock found himself no longer listening to the rambling of the Andorian in front of him, and the feigned interest Amanda was obviously trying to show the blue alien. Spock studied his captain – her cheeks were pink, and her smile was free and not restrained. The back of his mind began to ache, and he wanted to just leave the room. However, he did not want to appear as if he couldn’t handle his duties in front of his father, nor did he want his mother to get concerned and investigate.

            Spock quickly stiffened up and excused himself from the Andorian to make his way to the other ambassadors. His captain was obviously…sidetracked with a distraction. Spock’s brown eyes observed the interaction between his captain and the male sharply, his mouth in a straight line, his eyebrows rising every few seconds in observation. He quickly told himself to cut it out, and he refocused on talking to the next ambassador.

            “Wow, Jim. I knew you’d be a big name someday, but I never imagined you having one of the best ships in the whole fleet.” John smirked, causing Jim to huff a bit.

            “I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult,” She rolled her eyes and shook her head, taking another sip from her glass, “I see that the Federation has been treating you well. A high level ambassador. How’s that treating you?”

            “For the most part, it’s great. Of course, that is what I studied while we were at the Academy…although for half the time at the Academy I was trying to pique your interest.” John teased, causing Jim to let out a breathy giggle.

            “Yeah, well, my interest was piqued in the books. However, I did really enjoy that interplanetary relations class with you.” Jim smiled politely.

            Her and John, of course, did go on dates a few times while attending the Academy together. They were seen as a very…ideal couple. John was studying Interplanetary Relations, aiming to be a very high-level clearance Ambassador for the Federation, and Jim was studying the tricky and difficult work of Command, her leadership knowing no bounds with the ultimate goal of being the Captain of a Federation starship. While Jim did look at John fondly, as she did most of the men that she had dated, she no longer held any interest in him. It didn’t take long for Jim to figure out that John still had much interest in her. She looked around the room to find Spock, and she let out a relieved sigh when she saw that he was talking with Amanda, Sarek at her side.

            “John, let me introduce you to my crew. I know you’ve already met Leonard…we were basically glued together at the Academy…”

            “It’s true, whenever one showed up without the other, it was like the apocalypse had arrived…” John laughed.

            “I have to introduce you to my First Officer, Mr. Spock.” Jim hurriedly made her way over to Spock, John in tow. Jim had to talk to the other ambassadors of the Federation, not a former flame. She didn’t want to task Spock with all of the work, and she knew that the ambassadors would probably not be satisfied only being talked to by the second-in-command. She knew that the ambassadors would begin to talk about the Vulcan delegation being favored since that was the only one that Jim really interacted with that day.

            “John, I’d like you to meet my First Officer, Commander Spock.” Jim nodded politely as she introduced the Vulcan and her old boyfriend, seeing Spock’s brown eyes narrow just the slightest.

            Jim looked to see Amanda hiding a knowing smile behind her hand as Sarek kept a straight face. Jim nearly let out a heaving sigh – geez, Sarek, you fell in love with a human girl and yet you still try to act like you’re completely stoic. Jim bit her lip as she wondered if that’s how Spock would be when they got married.

            Jim bit her bottom lip harshly, nearly making it bleed. Whoa! Where did that come from? _When_ she and Spock got married? She began to cough slightly as John nodded in Spock’s direction.

            “John and I went to the Academy together. He studied Interplanetary Relations. He is one of the top Federation Ambassadors that they shuttle out.” Jim scooted a bit closer to Spock’s side.

            “We know him well on Vulcan…” Sarek chimed in, sending a look to his son, “He has attempted to negotiate quite a few…fairly _mediocre_ treaties with the council.”

            Jim nearly let out a wheezing laugh at the obviously disgruntled line that Sarek just fed John, but she could’ve sworn that Spock’s chest swelled just a bit with inner pride as he saw his father quite clearly take the ambassador down a few inches. Jim always thought that Spock got his sass from his human side, but it seemed that the Vulcan side of him was where it truly radiated.

            “I see that you’re doing well, Ambassador Sarek…” John swallowed.

            Jim was a bit uncomfortable as John got closer to her, him still smiling that 1000 watt smile at Spock.

            “Jim and I were quite close at the Academy. We dated, actually. One of her dreams was to captain a starship, so I’m glad to see that it came of fruition.” John cleared his throat.

            Jim felt the back of her mind ache a bit – the usual warm pleasant feeling was beginning to burn. She hid a small yelp, not noticing Amanda’s eyes on her. Amanda’s brows furrowed as she watched the blonde captain wince in pain. Amanda was sure of it – it was basically like a textbook example – the burning sensation a T’hy’la feels when their bondmate feels threatened by another. Amanda felt sympathy for the poor captain – not only was Jim uncomfortable in her uniform and stressed out about having ambassadors and their delegations all over the place, but she was now involved in a painful little battle between her son Spock and Jim’s former boyfriend.

            “As am I. Captain Kirk is a very competent captain, and I feel like the Enterprise runs most efficiently with her at the helm.” Spock calmly responded, sure to keep an air of coolness as he spoke the words.

            _T’hy’la._

            Jim heard the word echo in her head, and she quickly whipped her head to look behind her to see who had whispered it so clearly to her. She was bewildered when she discovered that there was nobody there. It was such a strange word…

            “I believe that she is more than competent. But enough about her…how about you, Commander Spock? I am aware that you also studied at the Academy.” John challenged.

_T’hy’la._

            Jim bit her bottom lip harder, as the strange word got louder. She wasn’t even paying attention to the tense conversation that John and Spock were having as she tried to keep her head from splitting. It didn’t help.

            The chanting got louder and louder in her head.

            _T’hy’la._

_T’hy’la._

_T’hy’la._

            Jim tried to shake her head of it, but she couldn’t. She quickly put down her wine glass and let out a groan.

            “T’hy’la!” She exclaimed with annoyance, right in front of Spock, Sarek, Amanda, and John. John raised an eyebrow at being interrupted, and the array of faces around Jim confused the living hell out of her.

            With one exclamation of that damn frantic word, Spock turned green, Amanda began to smile knowingly with her eyes wrinkling up pleasantly as she stared at her son, and Sarek even had a sly look in his eyes as he stared down Spock before turning away to invest his time in another conversation. Jim bit her bottom lip.

            “Um…heh, sorry. That…word has just been screaming itself in the back of my head since I began to chat with you, John…” Jim shook her head and let out a sigh, trying to release tension and embarrassment, “John, if you’ll kindly excuse me, I’m going to go to the Bridge and see how close we are to Babel…maybe it’s this whole excitable atmosphere that has me a bit off kilter. The Enterprise is not to be used as a shuttle like this…no matter what Starfleet has to say about it…” Jim grumbled under her breath as she headed for the door, wanting to rip the damn starchy dress uniform off her body.

            Spock’s ears perked up, even though he was still a mild shade of green, and he avoided his mother’s smile as he quickly fell into pace with the captain.

            “Captain, I shall accompany you…”

            Jim nodded as Spock stuck to her side, and they left the room. When they reached the hallway, Jim felt the mysterious word soften into a slow and sweet purr and she felt her insides get warm, like she had just chugged bourbon…without the horrible burn, of course.

            John looked at Amanda and raised a blonde eyebrow.

            “Are…are they…together? _Jim_ …and that… _Vulcan_?” He asked in disbelief.

            Jim Kirk? With a Vulcan? He knew she was a brilliant young woman, top of the class at the Academy, basically a book with legs, dedicated to Starfleet’s mission – but she was also bubbly, quick to protest, and loved to laugh. She was romantic sometimes, and caught up in a rose-tinted world. She still had that terrifying realness to her, though – she had seen things, experienced horrible grief, pain, loneliness…and yet she loved to make people feel welcome and at ease, like when they were with her they were experiencing the feeling of home. John just couldn’t figure out how a disgustingly emotionless Vulcan fit into Jim’s glorious picture – her glorious future.

            “I believe everybody but them is aware of that…” Amanda smirked before turning to walk to Sarek’s side. Before departing, she turned to John, a bit of a fire in her burning stare, “and dear, do watch that tone when you speak about my son. That _Vulcan_ could do cartwheels around you when it comes to Captain James T. Kirk.”

            With a mortified man staring at her, she walked loyally to Sarek’s side, him greeting her with an outstretched hand in a Vulcan kiss.

\--

            “Sorry about making you interact with all the ambassadors. I’ll head back as soon as I clear my head…” Jim murmured to Spock as they stepped into the turbolift. Spock tilted his head at his captain, and he began to wonder what to do. He nearly scolded himself aloud when he realized the reason why Jim was hearing that word in the back of her head and was practically able to read his mind earlier. He knew Jim was his mate, his fated, but he knew that Jim was being affected so harshly because of a mind meld he did with her a few weeks earlier. They had been captured while scouting out a planet, and Jim was unable to speak due to being subject to horrible bouts of pain when trying to speak, controlled by their captors.

            Luckily, those that had trapped them were not very knowledgeable about Vulcan telepathic abilities, and Jim and himself could be beamed back up aboard the Enterprise in a few short hours. During that time, though, he had to establish a telepathic connection to Jim, and it was extremely hard to stop the connection before it was dangerously too close – when both of their minds would become one and they would fall into each other as T’hy’la. Spock was grateful he was alert enough to put in a firm block between their minds. However, their connection was so strong that it didn’t fray away – therefore why Jim was able to hear some of his thoughts, and feel the intense throes of his jealousy while she was talking to a former lover.

            Spock quickly realized that Jim was waiting for him to answer her, and he pulled back his shoulders as they stood silently in the lift, nodding.

            “I did not get to discuss matters with all of the Federation ambassadors, so it is imperative that we return to the formal reception before reaching Babel.” Spock was able to speak, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

            Being so close to Jim in an enclosed space was starting to really waste away at him. His mind was absolutely exhausted – his body was getting more and more tired of having to keep itself from bonding to Jim, and he knew that Jim was having an even tougher time – especially since she didn’t know what was actually happening.

            Spock knew that Jim was brilliant, and starting to become very suspicious. He knew that she was realizing that the sensation in her brain only occurred around him. It was only a matter of time until Jim pieced facts together and realized what this all meant.

\--

            “When are you going to tell your captain that she is your fated?” Sarek crossed his arms as he stopped Spock in the middle of the empty hallway, a few meters down from the conference room.

            Jim was now working extreme overtime in the formal reception, spending approximately 2.5 minutes with each ambassador, making them feel at ease and at bay. If there was anything Jim could do, it was be social and dissolve conflict.

            “Spock, dear, I know that us coming aboard wasn’t exactly…ideal…but your father is right. It was hard not to tell that your captain was in excruciating pain during your little…match with one of her past lovers.” Amanda scolded her son slightly, having finally convinced her husband to take Spock to the side.

            “Father…Mother…I fail to see how any of this concerns you. I do not see it fit to confide these details to my captain at the moment. We are to be shuttling ambassadors to Babel, not confessing such intimate details.” Spock was sure to push himself away from the situation. “Now, if you will excuse me-“

            “You are not excused. This is not logically sound. If your captain continues to be in pain and has a blocked mind meld with you, her mind will begin to deteriorate. Humans are not as strong willed as Vulcans. You should know that.” Sarek snaked back to his son, causing Amanda to bite her bottom lip.

            “Sarek…”

            “Father, I am well aware – there is no need to remind me. I will confide in my captain when the time is correct.”

            Spock could not believe he was having this conversation with his parents right now. It was as if he was being treated like an irresponsible child.

            “What made you even stimulate the mind meld before the proper time?” Sarek’s hard brown eyes stared into Spock’s more human eyes, and Spock had to keep his frustration under wraps. His father was the one who trained him in the Vulcan way – he’ll be damned if he disappoints that.

            “The Captain and I had a mission that deemed it necessary for us to engage in a mind meld. Father, it is not logically sound for _you_ to be questioning me at a time such as this.” Spock shot back, Amanda beginning to panic.

            “Listen you two, this is getting out of hand!”

            “You are not fully human, Spock. Neither are you fully Vulcan. You have more responsibility than a Vulcan and more responsibility than that of a human being. Your captain is human. Either you cut the link between your minds now, or you connect them fully. After all of your training you must perceive the concept of the destruction of an innocent mind you are wreaking havoc upon. Her mind is not as advanced as the Vulcan mind…not as advanced as yours. She cannot handle a mild mind meld with you any longer.” Sarek demanded, not backing down.

            Spock looked to the side, defeated. His father was correct. While Jim was stubborn and strong, it would be very hard for her to be a sound captain with sound judgment if Spock did not either break or fully pull together the mind meld that he had. He had to admit that he was also getting weak – having to have a barrier between his mind and Jim’s while both of them yearned for a deeper connection was something that was extremely torturous. He could feel the begging touch and pull of Jim’s mind whenever they were together, and he couldn’t get Jim’s painful expression out of his mind from when he was obviously being territorial in front of Jim’s old lover. Spock still felt his green blood boil at the thought of it.

            “I shall…get to it before we reach Babel.” Spock bowed his way out quickly and made his way back to the reception.

            Spock walked into the somewhat crowded meeting room, and his eyes immediately found Jim. He let out a small breath when he saw that she was talking to one of the Tellarites. Jim was always careful when interacting with Tellarites, because they were always irked about something. They just loved to argue. Spock made his way to Jim, standing at her side.

            “And another thing, why are we the last delegation you are speaking to?” Gav demanded, tapping his foot, “I’ll have you know that we were one of the founding members of the United Federation of Planets!”

            “Ambassador, I am quite aware. I sincerely apologize for getting over to you so late, but you know what they say…always save the best for last!” Jim bit her bottom lip, watching the Tellarite roll his eyes.

            “Ambassador, please do not blame Captain Kirk for this inconvenience, it is partially my fault -- I should have come up to you in my preliminary greetings during the reception to tell you that Captain Kirk may see you last due to important circumstances. By seeing Captain Kirk last, you get approximately thirty seconds more with the Captain.” Spock held his hands behind his back, quick to defend his T’hy’la.

            “Watch your smart mouth, you Vulcan. Your father and I already had a little spat. All Vulcans are alike…”

            Jim bristled a bit when the Tellarite so easily insulted Spock. She knew that the Tellarites just lived off of insults and debates, but it hit a bit closer than she would’ve liked.

            "Ambassador, you are out of line—"

            “Ah, Ambassador Gav, I see that you have met my son.” Sarek quickly appeared at his son’s side, and Jim’s eyes widened.

            Well, that certainly was a 360. Spock left her side for less than 10 minutes, and he was now his father’s son again? Jim looked over to Amanda who was talking to Bones (probably about embarrassing childhood stories) and saw her wink. Jim bit her bottom lip, deciding to put this development in the back of her head as Sarek talked calmly to the annoyed Tellarite.

            “Ambassador, I have finished my conversations with the Captain already, and I encourage you to use your time as well – you are receiving substantially more time than I had received.” Sarek nodded shortly at the Tellarite, and made his way to his wife.

            “Like hell I’m going to listen to you!” The Tellarite groaned, stomping off.

            Jim ran a hand through her hair and sighed, a small smile tugging at the side of her pale lips.

            “Your father is great at diversions. He knew that instructing the Tellarite to do something would cause him to not do it…” Jim giggled, relieved that it seemed like Spock and Sarek’s little feud was at least smoothed over for now.

            “Indeed…it was a very logical decision. Knowing the history of the Tellarites, and the Vulcan history of relations with Tellarites, it is common knowledge that the Tellarites are quite…argumentative, and if they do not have anything to argue about, they simply resort to using insults. For Vulcans, this has no effect.” Spock exclaimed, looking into Jim’s eyes, then allowing his brown eyes to drag down to look at her lips, the way that they softly parted and how the edges of her mouth turned up in a small shy smile.

            “Is that right?” Jim sarcastically smiled, shaking her head, “well, that was the last ambassador I had to speak to. Before talking to Ambassador Gav, I called to the Bridge and Chekov said that we were due to arrive at Babel within the next half hour.”

            “Captain…may I speak with you for a moment?” Spock blurted, tilting his head.

            “Sure, what’s the—"

            “Hey Jim, may I speak with you for a moment?”

            Spock nearly flipped a table when he saw John quickly walk up to Jim, obviously cutting Spock off from talking to her.

            “John, um, my First Officer actually asked to speak with me first…if this isn’t urgent, then-"

            “It is urgent.” John cut Jim off, and Spock saw Jim’s eyebrow twitch a bit. She hated being cut off. It was just a reminder of her Academy days – some men felt like they could just cut her off whenever they wanted to. She still even had that happen to her as a Starfleet captain.

            “Spock…” Jim looked up at the handsome Vulcan, biting her lip, “is your request urgent?”

            Spock stood for a moment. He couldn’t just say, _“yes, it is urgent, because your mind is deteriorating as we speak because we are fated and you are my t’hy’la and I’m getting territorial which is completely illogical but I love you.”_

            “It is urgent, Captain.”

            “John, I’m sorry, but my First Officer needs me --"

            “Jim, you can’t be serious-"

            “John, to be honest, I’ve been really fed up with you on this ship. Whenever I talk to you, I get a head splitting headache, and I do not appreciate the way that you are treating my First Officer. I have half a mind to report you to Starfleet for it. Now, we will be arriving at Babel any minute. I’m sure that your request, no matter how urgent, can be addressed when I am arranging landing parties. You don’t look like your eyes are bleeding, and, if they are, please see Dr. McCoy.” Jim snapped, shaking her head.

            The chanting of the word "t’hy’la" kept playing like a broken record in the back of her mind, and she was quite intrigued with Spock’s facial expression. It was hardened, and it did show a glimpse of human emotion – jealousy. Jim nearly let out a gasp when she understood what was happening. She sent a wide-eyed look to Spock, and she quickly licked her lips and pulled it together.

            “Is that understood, Ambassador?” Jim realized that she had left John hanging, and quickly raised a blonde eyebrow at John who merely rolled his eyes.

            “I liked you much more back at the Academy.”

            “Yeah? Likewise.” Jim nodded back, hating to leave a former lover on a sour note, but she knew that Spock’s request was urgent…and she really needed to speak to him as well.

            Jim and Spock quickly left the conference room, and Jim felt her headache fade once again. Jim crossed her arms as she waited for Spock to tell her what was so urgent. She knew that Spock never truly categorized things as "urgent" unless they were _extremely_ urgent.

            "Spock, what's going on?" Jim asked, biting her bottom lip.

            "Captain. It…it is not something that is related to Starfleet business…and it certainly does not fall in line with Starfleet protocol." Spock began softly, thankful that the hallway outside of the conference room was empty for the time being.

            Jim tilted her head, feeling the dizzying sensation fill her head again. She would be reluctant to admit that she was getting weaker by the minute today, but she figured that once she was able to get all the ambassadors to Babel she could have Bones look her over, or at least get in a 15-minute nap.

            "Spock?" Jim questioned, confused, "what about Starfleet protocol? I know that I seem very exhausted, and, to be honest, I am, but I promise you that I can hold on for the next fifteen minutes to get these ambassadors and their delegations to Babel. Also, I do know that I was quite rude to John back there, and it was in bad taste to tell him off like that, so I will be sure to make amends before he is transported down-" Jim winced when she heard the word “t’hy’la” basically yell itself in her head, and she quickly grabbed her temples with her pointer fingers. "Ow…"

            Spock's heart broke when he saw Jim wince in pain, tears clouding up her vision. He tried to calm himself once again – why was he being so reckless?

            "Captain, what I am concerned about does not pertain to either of the subjects that you mentioned. It concerns…you and I." Spock cleared his throat, putting his hands behind his back. He had too great of an urge to put his hand out and touch her.

            Jim rose an eyebrow for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, and put her hands on her hips.

            "Well, let's get on with it, Spock…" Jim hated scolding him, but she was feeling more out of it by the minute, and like hell she was going to look completely weak in front of the Federation's ambassadors. She just had to get through a couple of more minutes. "We have to start beaming down landing parties soon."

            "I am well aware, Captain…I…" Spock looked to the side in thought. He tried to think of the most logical way to explain what was occurring, but the words were escaping him. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, and remembered what Jim had told him just a few weeks prior.

            _They had just beamed back up from the mission where Jim was unable to speak and Spock had to form the mind meld. Jim was still somewhat injured, and Spock was sure to follow her to the Sick Bay to observe her treatment. It was truly just minor scrapes and bruises and some bleeding, but for the most part, she would be able to be bandaged up and sent on her way._

            _"Captain…forgive me, but I cannot logically understand why the woman on the planet still felt…the emotion of love for the man that she had not seen in several years due to both of them being captured and separated by the planet's crude government." Spock shook his head, wondering how that could be. If one is without their mate for several years, and they are unable to communicate for those several years, wouldn't their human-like bond break?_

_"Spock…" Jim smirked softly at her first officer, shaking her head while her hazel eyes sparkled just the slightest, "love is illogical."_

            Love was…and _is_ illogical. Perhaps that was the reason why Spock was unable to truly wrap his mind around the concept of flat-out telling his captain that she was his t’hy'la.

            "Jim, I'm in love with you." Spock was able to blurt out, watching his captain's face go absolutely blank.

            Spock felt Jim's thoughts race through his head like a herd of wild animals, unable to even understand every fourth word she said, let alone a sentence. He winced a bit – maybe he should not have been so…blunt about this.

            "S-Spock-" She spluttered, utterly confused.

            "Jim, have you not been wondering where that pain in your head is coming from, and why you have been hearing that word over and over? The word is a Vulcan word. That is why you do not understand it."

            "I…" Jim shook her head as she felt the fog begin to clear a bit. Her brain felt clear, and it felt like it would actually work to its full potential now. She had been feeling sluggish for weeks since that mission.

            "You feel this way due to the mild mind meld I had with you on the mission where we got captured. My thoughts went to your thoughts and vice versa. The word…that you heard being chanted over and over again was my…quite primal thoughts of jealousy. You have been feeling a major block when trying to explore this sensation due to me placing one to prevent us from melding completely." Spock calmly explained, although his heart was racing a mile a minute in his side.

            "Spock, I…what does t’hy’la even mean?" Jim was hardly able to croak any words out.

            Here was the man that she also held strong feelings for, randomly coming out and telling her that the pain she's been feeling in her head, along with the pleasure, was coming from him. It wasn't "space lice" – it was Spock all along. Her Vulcan first officer also just admitted that he experienced the throes of jealousy over her interactions with John, and that she was his t’hy’la – was that Vulcan for girlfriend or something?

            “T’hy’la is a Vulcan’s everything. Their t’hy’la is their mate for life. This person is a Vulcan’s fated. It is their equal in absolutely everything – a beloved. A Vulcan and their t’hy’la are bonded together physically, mentally, and spiritually. They are never too far from each other. One could be an entire galaxy away and still be able to feel their beloved. Jim…you are my t’hy’la. I realized this before I fully initiated the partial mind meld with you a few weeks ago…I knew of the dangers, yet I ignored them for the logic of the situation. I apologize.” Spock’s black lashes covered his eyes as he looked down.

            “Spock…” Jim breathed, unsure what to do with this information. She felt her world coming together as one. The weird feeling in her head, the pull she felt towards Spock – the pull that was stronger than her just having romantic feelings for him. Kirk was at a loss for words, but she couldn’t help herself with this information.

            She quickly bounded forward and captured Spock’s lips in a strong kiss, one that practically stole the breath away from the tall Vulcan. Spock stood there for a moment, unsure of how to react. He knew this was a human reaction, but he was not very well versed in how to…reciprocate. The meld with Jim he had in his head gently prodded him as a guide, and he closed his eyes fully before beginning to kiss her back, feeling absolutely electrified.

            Jim’s thin hands wrapped around Spock’s shoulders, her thin hands then traveling to his nicely kept black hair. She could just imagine how he looked – flustered, the tips of his pointy ears that lovely green color that sometimes painted his cheeks just showing unashamed to anyone who could walk by.

            She felt Spock’s hands gently place themselves on her lower back, and she felt herself press her back against the wall in the hallway adjacent to the conference room as she tilted her head and kissed deeper. It was a feeling unlike anything she could think of. She had kissed several people, but the way that Spock felt on her was something she would never be able to experience again. The thrumming feeling of his soft lips on hers, the mere heat that he brought to her with his hands, and the explosion of warmth and brightness that she felt in her head was something that told her she truly was Spock’s fated…and that he was her fated too.

            “J-Jim…” Spock breathed as he reluctantly pulled his lips away from his captain, seeing her blonde hair stick up just a little bit from where his fingers tangled in, her pink lips swollen, “I…”

            “Spock, I love you…and I’m actually relieved to know that I didn’t have space lice or was going insane with what I was feeling in my head.” Jim shook her head as they stayed there, touching each other.

            Spock’s pointer and middle finger quickly found Jim’s and he pressed against her more, closing his eyes. It was as if they were in another place – he forgot that they were Captain and First Officer, and he forgot that they were in the middle of a very public corridor that the ambassadors and their delegations would be filing down in a matter of seconds. Jim’s eyes fluttered back as Spock’s fingers made contact with hers, and she realized that she saw Sarek and Amanda do the same thing when they greeted each other. It was a kiss!

            “Jim, I apologize sincerely for not…giving you this information sooner. I did not know that it was having such an adverse effect on you until my father brought it to my attention.”

            “WAIT, WHAT?” Jim nearly doubled over, her eyes going wide, “your father…your father, _Sarek_ , told you to put the moves on me?”

            “I…I’m not sure what you mean by ‘the moves,’ but my father did tell me to finish this mind meld with you or completely break it so that your mind would be spared. A human’s mind is weaker than that of a Vulcan’s. If I had kept the mild meld on you, you would have become more exhausted and eventually gone into a potential coma.” Spock was sure to explain, seeing Jim’s mouth plop open.

            “So wait, if you didn’t admit to me your feelings, I would go into a coma? Man, you Vulcans…when you guys do it, you really do it.”

            Spock rolled his brown eyes softly at his captain, and quickly pushed their pointer and middle fingers together again as he closed his eyes and put his forehead to hers.

            “May I have your permission to solidify our bond? It will…be intense at first…but you have already gotten somewhat of a feeling of me in your mind…and I have a feeling of you in my mind as well. It is quite a pleasurable experience, Captain.”

            “Well, first off, you need to stop calling me Captain since I'm your t’hy’la now…” Jim teased, quickly nipping his bottom lip, “but yes, you can complete the meld.”

            Spock smirked and quickly put his fingers on Jim’s psy points, and completed the meld, feeling them both crash into each other like waves. When Jim opened her eyes again, she was met with the sweet brown of her fated. She blushed a bit.

            “Well, that’s not what I was expecting to happen while I had all of the Federation’s ambassadors and their delegates on my ship…but…I have a feeling that if this was going to happen, it was going to happen in the least convenient way possible.”

            “You make quite the point, Jim.”

            “Bridge to Captain Kirk.” Chekov’s voice quickly filled the little intercom in the hall, and Jim straightened up completely, clearing her throat and patting down her hair as Spock quickly adjusted his dress uniform.

            “Yes, Chekov?”

            “We are now in orbit above Babel. We can begin beaming down delegations at your command.” Chekov explained.

            “Sounds great. I will tell the delegations and the ambassadors now. Prepare the transporter room. Kirk out.”

            Jim and Spock quickly made their way back into the conference room and relayed the message to the ambassadors and began organizing the delegations in alphabetical order on who would beam down first – that was the only way the Tellarites would accept being beamed down.

            Jim blushed at Amanda when the woman sent her a sweet and knowing look, and Jim quickly made her way over to Spock’s parents with her First Officer as they quietly explained what took place. Jim then learned that there was a special ritual that she and Spock would have to go through on Vulcan, but that could wait a few weeks.

            “I am…quite pleased that you finally told your Captain of her status.” Sarek swallowed, Amanda holding onto his arm, “we look forward to welcoming you to Vulcan in the next few weeks for the ceremony, Captain.”

            “Likewise…” Jim smiled, bowing her head softly.

            Spock and Jim followed the Vulcan delegation to the transporter room as the last delegation beamed down to Babel for the conference. Jim let out a huge relieved sigh and buried her head into her Vulcan’s shoulder.

            “I’m exhausted.”

            “Then you should sleep, Ashayam…” Spock whispered.

            “I swear, if you’re calling me cuss words in Vulcan, I’m going to tell Uhura on you.”

\---

            “When are we going to tell the Captain that her and Commander Spock were basically making out right in front of the security camera in the conference room hall?” Sulu questioned the crew on the Bridge while Spock and Jim were still preoccupied.

            “Like hell if I bring it up. But, we could always save the footage for when the Captain is reluctant about letting us have shore leave.” Chekov shrugged, hiding his laughter.

            “Good call. We’ll just remind them of it when they least expect it.” Sulu nodded.

            “Captain Kirk to the Bridge…”

            Sulu and Chekov jumped immediately as Jim’s voice filled the Bridge, causing Uhura to snort.

            “Bridge here.” Uhura spoke up for the nearly mortified helmsmen.

            “We are ready to pull out of orbit. Tell Mr. Sulu that we are ready to head off to our next mission…and that his elbow was conveniently on the microphone for the transporter room while speaking to Mr. Chekov.”

            Needless to say, Sulu and Chekov weren’t exactly granted shore leave when they arrived on Vulcan a few weeks later.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Feel free to leave a comment~


End file.
